An irreverent look at the beautiful game
Was it the stern demeanor? The lack of top-tier experience? Losing the room? Regardless, us Gaffers are really hoping to see Gary Monk’s rise and fall adapted to either the stage or silver screen. Alan Tudyk (of Dodgeball, A Knight’s Tale, and Assassin Banana fame) would make a great lead, no?
Further casting pending the announcement of Monk’s replacement. Some early ideas:
Gary Sinise as David Moyes
Ben Stiller as Gus Poyet
Christopher Ecclestone as Brendan Rodgers
Wherein Our Heroes are joined by their first-ever guest host, who struggles with The Gaffers’ creed. Formations are obsessed over, Euro 2016 dark horses are released from their barns, and the lads take a pretend gamble on Ronaldinho. Dimitri Payet, Olivier Giroud, and Christian Eriksen are lauded for their performances this season, while Sunderland and Villa are in tough. Also, Brendan is subjected to the dreaded Lightning Round of Awesomeness.
Music: “See You Through” by Bear Mountain
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Wherein Our Heroes adjudge themselves to be desolate after the last round of the MLS playoffs. Jamie Vardy is the slyest of Foxes (not to be Ruud), Brendan Rodgers hops The Tube, and Rooney’s slaps are better than his finishing. Also, Stoic Loic Remy receives a huzzah for not going to ground, Jeb Brovsky rocks a modern-day Errol Flynn look, and a Costa Rican referee gets the heave-ho from CONCACAF. Jason recounts his recent experience in Vancouver, and The Gaffers weigh in on MLS and BPL before the international break.
Music: “See You Through” by Bear Mountain
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Wherein Our Heroes lube themselves in irreverence and slide into goings on with Brendan Rodgers, José Mourinho, and Manchester United’s tactical woes. Arsenal won’t let their partner finish, Aguero bags five in one day, and the MLS nears its trembling climax. Also, John Terry nets a Tesco gift card for malodorous parking practices.
Music: “See You Through” by Bear Mountain
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Wherein Our Heroes elaborate on Lewandowski’s quint trick, Sir Alex Ferguson’s world beaters, Emmanuel Adebayor’s clubless woes, Brendan Rodgers’ lifeline (aka Daniel Sturridge), José Mourinho’s straight dope, James Milner’s Yorkshire puddings, Rudy Gestede’s head, Romelu Lukaku’s brace, Catalan tax evasion, Ligue 1 effigies, Memphis Depay’s golden grill, Morgan Schneiderlin’s ESL tips, and search engine optimization. Also, Cyle Larin is invited out for a rip and Adam and Jason do their best Harry ’Michael’ Kane impressions.
Music: “See You Through” by Bear Mountain
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
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